Sunday, 17 June 2012

Four days of progress,racist ducks and extreme weightlifting

It's been an odd sort of week.Following a dismal day at The Cave Of Justice and Pill Box the other Sunday,I was convinced to take some rest by two other members of the NW over-35's club.Not before time..I'd gone from 7B+ to punting around falling on my arse off Pill Box Original,all in the space of a week.Brilliant.Rest duly taken,along with some core work.Typically,one of my rest days was a nightmare day at work;four dirty big trees to prune away from an 11kv line near Rimington,home of Lancashire's only racist duck.He's called Bob,and his owner assures me he's a total bastard,and harbours a serious dislike of all black dogs.I'd seen the avian hatemonger on a previous tree job,and was glad I was 50 feet up a big old ash tree,where he couldn't get at me.I've got a fair tan,and I wouldn't put it past him to hold that against me.  Anyway...back to climbing.Partially rested,I hit Longridge for a recce of Robins' crimpy 7C,Colon Power.I got a bit distracted by watching Andy F's wack old man sequence on Grow Wings SS.He got up it though,but I think sneaking up stuff instead of powering is missing the point,largely because I can't fathom how his method works.Luckily I boshed it first go with my basic thug beta.Put that in yer pipe and smoke it,footwork.The old man's going ok to be fair,though;he cruised across Left Wall Traverse at The Cave the other Sunday.Ben "Snaps" Freeman rolled up too,and proceeded to casually waltz up everything he got on.Some serious ginger power there.He gave me the goods about Colon Power,and I'll be back for that one.
Friday I trained indoors at BUK,on some of the Darwen Weasel's randomly graded 3D nightmares,and put in a good 24 hang set of encores on the ol' Crusher board.Feeling strong(well,for me) I decided to head for the only dry rock in the bloody country on Saturday.Yep,that's right...the fucking Cave.It was full to the rafters with assorted wads,chancers and Dan Turner,who was rocking a shocking gay pride striped Eurovest-a strong look for sure.I was far from psyched and waited it out.Burnley's finest hobbit lookalike,Wilko, put in a sterling effort on Pit Of Hell,getting very close on the link,only failing a couple of moves from the end.Great stuff.On one attempt he duffed it and swore up a storm,only to turn round and see a shocked looking young family with toddlers in tow.Fortunately ,they were foreign,so probably didn't have the faintest idea what he was shouting on account of his unintelligible East Lancs twang.I finally climbed,and punted it up failing on Rock Atrocity.It feels about 9D,but this might be something to do with me unconsciously trying to do the crux off my middle two,instead of three fingers and a thumb.I blame Robins for this,bloody Crusher boards... I avoided total embarassment by doing Lip Service,a funky thing that gets 7B.It feels soft to me,but what do I know.I can't even count my own fucking fingers.A great little problem though. I celebrated a day's punting with a smashing Shiraz Cab,and headed out on Sunday with a thick head,fourth day on...this was meant to be another recce to suss the moves on Underhand Extension.I did actually figure out the moves,which is progress.On a fresher day,I'll have it.Hopefully next time,I won't be distracted by the strangest thing I've ever seen at Almscliff...two full on oddities with a weight bench and a bar.I've got no fucking idea what that was about.Extreme outdoor weightlifting? Fuck knows.One of em was leching at my arms,in a decidedly strange manner...full throttle gay,or just some surreal body fascist? I don't know,and frankly I don't want to.After all this,I went home,I'd had enough.This week,if the planets allign,I'll link Underhand Extension,buy some Richie Crouch-style trackies,and maybe even learn to do paragraphs,cos this is all a bit James's gonna be a cracker.Over and out.       

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